November 12, 2017
I have been struggling with this next blog post, as I feel there is not much to write about now. However, taking a step back and viewing our lives, I see there is actually quite a lot happening – – and a lot left to do.
We want to be in New York by March. The house goes on the market mid-January.
Where the hell did the time go? Our house currently has a mixture of fall and Christmas decor. It’s NOVEMBER. I feel like December starts next week? I feel the holidays always do that to me – I wait anxiously to decorate and to feel that holiday spirit, and BOOM, Thanksgiving is done and Christmas is just a few days away.
This morning and afternoon, Daniel and I cleaned and started assignments on our To-Do lists. Earlier this month, I made a big To-Do schedule for every weekend that leads up to putting our house on the market.
Why start so early? My planning out every weekend is designed to help us get started on small tasks. The tasks will start to get bigger. Having moved around a lot in my life, I hate packing, so I am just trying to make the end-result go a bit more smoothly.
Last weekend was Weekend #1 – we cleaned out the garage and fixed drywall. (Daniel actually fixed the drywall while I complained about dust getting in my eyes.)
This weekend (Weekend #2), our goal was to take down all of the pictures, patch up holes, and go through books and DVDs. As of now, I feel we have accomplished 80% of the tasks for the weekend. We have books and DVDs in boxes sitting in our mess of an office. There is a large pile of unwanted items that will go to donations or 2nd and Charles.
All of the framed pictures of us or family and friends are sitting in boxes too.
It is now starting to feel real.
The house currently sits in an organized chaos kind of way. You know what I mean? Boxes are scattered throughout our dining and office areas. Everything appears disarranged, but the stuff is all organized and in its place.
Last weekend, we sold a piece of furniture. When we purchased our house in 2016, there was one particular piece of furniture I knew I wanted – a buffet table. I wanted a decorative piece that could hold our excess kitchen items. We found a beautiful piece that was blue-and-gray and wide enough that it fit a particular wall perfectly. It was a great spot for holiday decorations.
The guy who bought the buffet table took just a minute to inspect the buffet and then he and Daniel were lifting it out of its first home.
Admittedly, I started to feel emotional. I almost blurted out, “Oh no, we’re keeping it. Sorry.” But I had $450 in hand and had to mentally remind myself that we are moving to New York soon. When the guy left, I stared at the empty space the buffet table used to sit. Our dining room table became the new home of our miscellaneous kitchen items.
The disarray of my home had begun.
Adding the packing and putting stuff away this weekend, the “mess” is somewhat triggering my anxiety. What is stopping me from taking a Xanax is that I know, ultimately, everything will be going to storage soon and our house will be show-ready when we put it on the market.
Mid-January will be here before we know it.
I look at the big To-Do list throughout the week, reminding myself of upcoming chores and projects. Even when I have a checklist, I find myself reviewing every detail just to be ahead of the game. When I was in the eighth grade, I used to ask for extra homework. Not because I liked homework, but I wanted to ensure I was always ahead of schedule.
Thank goodness my husband has been my rock during this process. Daniel has been extremely helpful in sticking to the To-Do list and its demand of tiresome chores. I do not normally need a reason to be proactive, that is just a part of my daily life. Daniel being johnny-on-the-spot with our chores eases my anxiety.
At this moment, Daniel is playing video games. I have secluded myself in the office to write this post. I am surrounded by boxes and random items that I am trying to decide if I want to keep or discard.
It is a bit disheartening. Seeing some of our stuff put away, readying for the next big move, brings back this nervous feeling inside. Are we really doing this? We are selling our home and leaving for New York to explore a new way of life? It sounds so incredibly insane that even me, with all the hope in the world of trying something different, I feel like I could change my mind and stay put here in Georgia.
But it’s happening. We are leaving. We are taking big risks and will be exhausting ourselves every weekend to prepare for the big day.
The To-Do list helps with the technical things – packing, cleaning, etc. But the list is not going to prepare me for some other things that we will have to take care of soon…
- We will have to do the big farewells with family and friends.
- We have to pack the car with our whole lives while temporarily living with Uncle Peter. Everything else will be in storage. But we will have to squeeze our transitory lives in a Toyota Rav4.
- We have to drive away. We have to get in the car and leave Georgia.
In past moves with my family, I can remember the sullen looks on my parents’ faces when we had to drive away from our home. I can still recall the tired look on my younger sister’s face every time we had to start our day as early as possible. The summer before fourth grade started, we moved from Florida to South Carolina. My sister, Sarah, was in the truck with Dad. I was Mom’s travel buddy in another car. Keep in mind, my very Korean mother does not show a lot of ‘sad’ emotion. I remember being sad, leaving Florida, but I was transfixed on my mother’s face as we hit the road early one morning. Mom had just said goodbye to some of her church friends; I looked over at her, feeling surprised that my mother’s usual beautiful porcelain-doll face was pained. She was fighting back tears. I did not say anything. I let her pain be the realization that we were leaving home (again) and moving on to a new life.
Daniel and I will be doing the same thing together soon. I can picture our stuff in the car and our dog whining and crying as we put her in the crate. I wonder how I’ll be? Will I be crying? Or, by leaving-day, will I be cried-out from saying goodbye to family and friends? Or will I be just like Mom, hiding the pain and fixating on the new journey?
I am immensely enthusiastic about this new adventure. But I don’t think there will be any way to protect ourselves from the heartache of leaving. For now, I have my lists to follow.
I hope you continue to read and follow us on our journey to New York.