October 15, 2017
This may be a good opportunity to discuss my love for writing and my ultimate goal for New York, but I am going to wait to explore this until the next post.
I believe it is important to explain how the idea of New York started.
Let me make it clear that my desire to move from our home and lives in Georgia does not result from me being unhappy.
I have been unhappy for a long time. Perhaps “unhappy” is not the best way to explain my feelings. I am a sufferer of clinical anxiety and depression; this adds a lot of difficulty to my day-to-day life, as one may imagine.
I was happy when Daniel and I were married in February 2016. Having been together for 5+ years, we decided to skip the engagement and get married. There was no traditional wedding ceremony, instead we opted to get married with a small group of friends and family.
Since we had a small ceremony and did things in our own unconventional way, my family provided us with a monetary gift, for which we could decide its purpose.
Daniel wanted a house. I wanted one of two things – (1) to go on a honeymoon or (2) move away from Georgia. I thought that our new lives as newlyweds could have a fresh start in a new place.
After much discussion, we decided to buy a house. We bought our first house in May 2016.
Buying the house made sense. We were married, we had the money, and having the opportunity to leave our one bedroom apartment for something bigger sounded so lucrative. We found a house that was close to work and friends and family. I felt like I was accomplishing an adult’s dream.
Within the first few months of living in our new home, Daniel could see how evidently miserable I was. The house was perfect. Our dog had a yard. But I could not bring myself to decorate the walls or commit to any projects the house required. I was not even sure why I was so depressed. I did not know what I wanted to do, let alone explain why I felt the way I felt. I bought a few new furniture pieces for the house, hoping it would fill this empty void.
And it didn’t.
In the winter of 2016, Daniel admitted that he was sorry for thinking the house was the best and only option for us. He could see the hopelessness in my face. We started to think of ideas and plans to hit the ‘reset’ button on our lives.
On New Year’s Eve, we shared with a small group of friends our new and adventurous plan:
“We are moving to New York.”
We began to ask a lot of questions with the start of 2017. New York, at the time, was not the final answer. Daniel and I came up with other ideas and I was constantly obsessing over new alternatives:
I thought about quitting my full time job to stay at home and write.
Or just changing careers and still live in Georgia.
Or continue working and try to write a novel on top of a full time job.
Or get a part time job and dedicate my time at home to writing.
Or sell the house and move back into an apartment.
Or – just screw it – and have kids and continue the path our lives were on in Georgia.
Or blah and blah and blah…
Daniel and I began to see a therapist to better our communication within our marriage. Our therapist discussed New York with us, giving us items to think about and offering suggestions on how to tackle a big move on top of bettering our marriage.
Daniel admitted that his preferred method to move to New York meant taking care of a few “To-Do” items:
- Get out of debt 100%
- Increase Savings
- We cannot move to NY without jobs first
Sounds easy, right? I did not agree. I argued that while these were great goals to aim for, I was going to push for a 2018 move regardless if we met his conditions. I told myself that we were not going to lose momentum to get to New York.
I was fearful that waiting to go to New York to accomplish these goals would mean we would never get there. Give something enough time and your mind can change. I was terrified our New York plan could change if we gave it enough wiggle room.
It was funny how Daniel and I changed positions with regard for New York. I have always been the responsible one who over-thinks and expects the worse; Daniel prefers to just jump into new and exciting situations with a devil-may-care attitude. Suddenly, with New York as our goal, he wanted to be cautious and I wanted to jump into the unknown.
I had to not only convince my husband, but myself too, that moving from Georgia was not going to fix everything in my life.
I had to find and grasp the reason why making a change would be good at all. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. There are writing opportunities in New York, not in Georgia, so there you go. So Daniel encouraged me to chase this insane idea and move to New York just so I can try to be a writer.
We began to apply for jobs in New York. Still using our Georgia address, it made sense that we were not getting responses for job interviews. Who wants to hire someone for an entry level job from out of state?
I started compiling my own To-Do list, figuring out the steps of how we could get to New York.
Selling the house, a car, and other items would give us money to start in a new city without jobs. Daniel preferred to have jobs first before we leave Georgia, but I was convinced that this option may never be available to us until we could physically get to New York.
The day finally came when Daniel asked Uncle Peter, who lives in Katonah, NY, the big question if we could start our crazy journey in New York by living with him.
And Peter said yes.
I was in shock for the whole day. I did not cry for joy or laugh and smile when Peter confirmed we could live with him, making the whole New York plan that much easier for us.
I was frozen.
That night, while in bed, I cried in Daniel’s arms, frantically recanting New York as a good idea and claiming that, “We should just stay in Georgia. Never leave. And have babies.”
Daniel said, “No.” And he encouraged me that we were starting a new adventure in our lives.
I had never been so happy in my life.
We now had a plan. We could live with Peter to allow us a comfortable transition from Georgia to New York. We could search for jobs and an apartment while living in Katonah. The perfect start to a bizarre plan.
And here we are now.
Daniel and I recently shared our news with family, friends and employers. The reactions we have received is one of the reasons I started this blog, to help share our perspective and goals.
If Peter had not said yes, Daniel and I would still be trying to figure out New York.
While I may be panicked about making this big move, I have never felt more at peace with a decision. I fight with the crippling mixture of anxiety and depression every day, but I finally feel like I have something to look forward to.
Sharing our news about New York has been great. People are sharing personal stories about their time in New York. I now have new resources for when we get to New York, including people who already live in the city.
Daniel’s To-Do List is still important. We have paid of 3/4 of our debt. We have continued to add and build up our Savings. The house will go on the market mid-January and we have already begun to post big furniture pieces for sale.
Going to New York with no debt will also make our lives a lot easier.
So we have a plan! So if you are worried about us, know that Daniel and I have been discussing this for over a year. We also made these decisions together. None of this is “last second” or “random.” We are young adults who are prepared for this intimidating, yet thrilling expedition.
Have any questions? Please leave a comment, thank you.
My next post will explore my history and love for writing as well as going into detail about current plans to prep for New York.